12 December 2025
Yolanda Mzimela
As the summer holidays approach, the air fills with an unspoken expectation of joy and celebration. Calendars brim with social invitations, the “Dezemba” energy is palpable, and everywhere there is the promise of warmth and togetherness. But what if, instead of excitement, you feel a heavy sense of dread? What if the bright sunshine only highlights an inner darkness? You are not alone. This feeling – known as the holiday blues – touches many, revealing a complex emotional landscape beneath the festive facade.
After a long, challenging year, it’s natural to feel drained. Many of us arrive at the holidays running on empty. Counselling psychologist Ashleigh Kater reminds us that our capacity for social engagement has limits. For introverts or those burned out by life’s demands, the pressure to be endlessly “fun” and “social” can be exhausting rather than restorative. It’s okay to set boundaries, to pause and consider what you need. You don’t have to attend every gathering – protecting your energy is a form of self-care.
Financial stress weighs heavily on many, especially with rising living costs and the pressure to spend on gifts and celebrations. Honest conversations about your limits and setting realistic budgets aren’t failures – they’re responsible acts of kindness toward yourself and your loved ones. Grief and loneliness also cast long shadows during this season. For those missing loved ones, traditions can be painful reminders. It’s okay to mourn, to cry, to opt out of festivities. If you feel isolated, reaching out to community groups or support networks can help bridge the gap.
For those working through the holidays – healthcare workers, emergency responders, retail staff – the sacrifice is real. Feelings of frustration or sadness are valid. Finding meaning in your work and carving out moments for rest, however small, can sustain you.
One of the hardest hurdles is the pressure of “toxic positivity” – the idea that you must be cheerful no matter what. When your inner feelings clash with the expectation to be “merry and bright,” it can deepen distress and guilt. Kater encourages acceptance: acknowledge your emotions without judgment. You don’t have to be okay just because it’s the holidays. Being human means feeling a mix of joy, sadness, hope, and weariness – and that’s perfectly normal.
The South African Depression and Anxiety Group’s recent Festival of Feelings study paints a sobering picture: many are silently carrying heavy emotional and financial burdens. Nearly three-quarters worry about making ends meet in January, and half report feeling lonely during past festive seasons. Psychological strain is widespread, with many feeling tired, anxious, or hopeless. Yet those with diagnosed mental health conditions often cope better, highlighting the power of knowledge, therapy, medication, and support.
So how can we beat the holiday blues and truly rest during our time off? Holidays are meant to be a sacred time for rest and rejuvenation, yet many return to work more exhausted than before. Rest is physical – good sleep is crucial, requiring a comfortable, quiet, and dark environment. Guard your sleep hygiene by limiting screen time before bed, avoiding caffeine and heavy meals late in the day, and calming your mind to prevent rumination. Journaling, mindfulness, or breathing exercises can help clear mental clutter.
Rest is also mental. Relaxation nourishes the soul through simple pleasures like listening to music, walking, reading, or spending time with emotionally safe loved ones. Avoid over-planning or over-executing tasks; holiday time is for slowing down, not stressing up. Learn to say “no” without guilt, and embrace boredom as a gateway to creativity and calm.
Holidays often mean family and social dynamics that can be tricky. Protect your emotional safety by limiting exposure to triggers, setting boundaries firmly, and being authentic rather than wearing exhausting masks. Allow yourself the luxury of genuine presence.
Finally, switch your mindset from “work mode” – full of to-do lists and constant alerts – to “holiday mode,” where vague intentions and spontaneous moments reign. This shift allows your mind and body to truly relax, explore, and reflect.
Your brain needs this rest. Scientific discoveries about the brain’s “default mode network” reveal that during downtime, your mind is far from idle – it consolidates memories, solves problems unconsciously, and nurtures creativity. Rest is essential not only to perform at your best but to sustain emotional balance and a coherent sense of self.
This holiday season, give yourself permission to step off the treadmill. Plan ahead, delegate when possible, and set clear boundaries. Rest deeply, relax intentionally, and honour your needs. Your holiday doesn’t have to be perfect – it just needs to be yours. When you return to work, you’ll be lighter, more grounded, and ready to face life’s challenges anew. You deserve nothing less.
