Kgomotso Molefe
1 September 2026
There was a turning point in my life that I will never forget. I had reached such a dark place that I attempted to end my life. I was alone and became unconscious for hours. The people I lived with could see that I was very unwell, but nobody took me to the doctor. Deep down, however, I knew what had happened.
That experience frightened me. For a long time afterwards, I could not tolerate being around medication. I had come frighteningly close to losing my life, and for the first time, I truly understood how precious it was.
I began asking myself a different question. Instead of asking why I was suffering, I started asking why I had survived. My faith became an important part of that journey. I began to believe that God had a purpose for keeping me alive. If my life was as meaningless as my depression and circumstances had made me feel, why was I still here?
I started believing that perhaps God saw something in me that I could not yet see in myself. Maybe my environment had made me forget my worth, but it had not erased it.
That changed how I looked at my life. I began questioning what I wanted for myself. There were moments when I would sit alone and think, “No. This is not the life I want. I want something different. I want better.”
Slowly, I began appreciating the little things I had overlooked for years. I started spending positive time alone and discovering who I was. I had missed that opportunity as a child, as a teenager and even in my early twenties. Now, I was finally learning how to sit with myself.
Sometimes healing looked incredibly simple. It was feeling the warmth of the sun, watching a new morning arrive, sitting quietly with my thoughts and seeing my son each morning, knowing that I was alive to experience motherhood.
Motherhood became one of the greatest gifts of my life. I often think about how different my story could have been if I had not survived that dark period. I would never have known what it felt like to become a mother or meet the version of myself that exists today.
Therapy also played an important role in my journey. I began taking my career seriously, accepting myself and discovering parts of my personality I had never understood. I realised that I am an introvert, and for the first time, I could sit with my thoughts without being afraid of them.
I have also learned that depression is not stress, a bad mood or something a person can simply push away. It is a mental illness and a mental condition that requires understanding. When someone has a mental-health condition, people around them often want to fix them. They may say things they believe will make the person change. But people living with depression can experience the world differently, and sometimes what we need most is for someone to listen rather than try to fix us.
For me, wanting to be alone does not automatically mean that I am hurting myself or planning to end my life. Sometimes I simply need my own space, quiet and time to process what is happening inside me. I am learning that being wired differently does not mean something is wrong with me.
Today, I still live with depression because mine is chronic, but it is under control. I know when I am not okay. I know how to recognise my thoughts and feelings, how to channel them and where to seek support.
I have learned to appreciate small moments of joy and surround myself with people who genuinely care about me. Most importantly, I have learned that I do not need anyone else’s validation to prove that my life has value.
I am still living with depression, but I am also living with purpose. For the first time, I am happy to be alive.
About the author: Kgomotso Molefe is a South African author whose writing explores love, mental health, addiction, resilience and the difficult experiences that can shape a person’s life. Through her books and public storytelling, she aims to encourage honest conversations about subjects that are often hidden or misunderstood. She is the author of They All Said It Was Done For Love and How Depression Sold Me to Addiction. Her work brings together personal storytelling and a desire to help readers feel seen, heard and less alone.
