Thembelihle Zwane
18 March 2026
Why Do I Feel This Way?
It’s perfectly normal to feel nervous about returning to work after a break. Research, such as a study by Vodafone UK, shows that a third of people experience reduced confidence when re-entering the workforce. Women are particularly affected, often due to taking breaks for maternity leave, caregiving, or family responsibilities – issues that resonate deeply with many women balancing work and family in a society where caregiving roles are often gendered.
Ross White, a clinical psychologist and author of The Tree That Bends: How a Flexible Mind Can Help You Thrive, explains that these feelings often stem from how much you care about your work and the role it plays in your life. “The stakes are high,” he says, pointing out that many of us rely on our jobs for financial stability and a sense of purpose. It’s human nature for our minds to race with “what ifs” and “shoulds,” which can lead to overthinking and catastrophizing about returning to work.
The Impact on Identity
For many people, jobs represent more than a paycheck – they are a source of pride and identity. When returning to work, especially to a role where you previously excelled, struggling to find your groove can be unsettling. White explains that according to self-determination theory, humans have three essential psychological needs: autonomy, relatedness, and a sense of mastery. A career break temporarily disrupts these, making it harder to jump back in.
However, it’s important to remember that your job is only one part of who you are. White suggests an “identity mapping exercise,” where you list all your roles and identities. For example, you might be a parent, a caregiver, a community leader, or a creative hobbyist. Recognising that your professional identity is only one facet of your life can help ease the pressure.
Even better, think about how your time away from work has shaped and grown you. Did caring for a relative teach you empathy and resilience? Did travelling broaden your perspectives or enhance your adaptability? People often find strength in community and shared experiences, so draw on the lessons you’ve learned during your break to enrich your professional identity.
Building Resilience and Psychological Flexibility
One of the most effective ways to navigate your return to work is by practising psychological flexibility. White describes this as adopting a mindset of “strong intention, light attachment.” This means being intentional about your goals and values but being open to new ways of achieving them. For example, your workplace might have introduced new technologies or processes while you were away. Instead of clinging to old ways of working, embrace change as an opportunity to learn and grow.
White uses the analogy of a tree: its roots are anchored in the ground, its flexible trunk bends with the wind, and its canopy reaches upward with purpose. Similarly, staying grounded in your values, being flexible in your approach, and maintaining a sense of purpose can help you thrive in times of change, a lesson that resonates deeply with many, where adaptability is often key to overcoming challenges.
Confidence Begins with Action
As sisters Amanda and Martine Braid, life coaches and authors, explain, confidence isn’t about waiting for the perfect moment or feeling completely ready – it’s about taking the first step, even in the face of fear. After taking time off to care for their terminally ill mother, the Braid sisters struggled to restart their business. Amanda reflects, “We realised we weren’t coming back as the same women. That experience changed us – it strengthened us, softened us, and gave us a new perspective on life.”
Their advice is simple yet powerful: rebuild yourself from the inside out by showing up for yourself daily. This could mean practising gratitude, taking mindful walks, or speaking kindly to yourself. As they put it, “Confidence comes after you take the first step, not before.”
Practical Steps for a Confident Return
While mindset is crucial, there are also practical steps you can take to make your return to work smoother and less stressful. Here’s how you can prepare:
Speak Up
In our workplace culture, staying silent about your worries can sometimes be seen as a sign of strength. But in reality, it’s much better to voice your concerns. Arrange a meeting with your manager or a trusted colleague to discuss any uncertainties. Most employers appreciate honesty and are willing to provide reassurance or support.
Ask for Updates
If your workplace has undergone changes during your absence, don’t hesitate to ask for details. What new systems, processes, or clients should you be aware of? Knowing what to expect will help you feel prepared.
Access Workplace Support
Many companies offer support programmes for employees returning after long absences. This could include phased returns, refresher training, or shadowing opportunities. If your company has an HR department, reach out to explore these options.
Upskill Yourself
If you’re worried about falling behind, take advantage of training opportunities. Whether it’s learning new software or brushing up on industry developments, investing in your skills can boost your confidence and competence.
Own Your Comeback
Returning to work after a career break is never easy, but it’s also an opportunity for growth. Confidence isn’t the absence of fear; it’s the willingness to act despite it. As the Braid sisters say, send yourself the message: “You matter, and you can do this.”
By combining practical steps with a mindset of openness and resilience, you can navigate the transition back to work and thrive in your career. Remember, challenges are part of the journey – and overcoming them makes you stronger. You’ve got this!
